I have struggled with depression on&off for as long as I can remember but lately I have began experiencing body pain, extreme panic attacks, feeling paranoid and checking under my bed, looking around my apartment multiple times before I go to bed and I have to sleep with the lights on because without I canâ€™t feel at peace (because I am afraid someone will kill me), I know there isnâ€™t someone there but I still canâ€™t find peace. I have trouble sleeping, I feel fatigued, have suicidal thoughts, my neck, arms, fingertips and legs hurts. I feel tempted to cut again (I have gone 3 months without because I felt much better for a while) and I have constant head aches and I feel like I am going insane. I donâ€™t normally feel anxious nor have panic attacks, I havenâ€™t had a panic attack in almost 3 years (as I can remember). My brain feels fuzzy and I canâ€™t think clearly, I canâ€™t cry or feel truly happy and I want to lock myself away from everyone because I have completely forgot how to talk to people which is not a problem for me normally. And no I havenâ€™t gotten any treatment for depression but I have gone to therapy but that crap didnâ€™t work and was a waste of my money.