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Poll: am I psycho

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I’ve always had VERY low self esteem my whole life and I never had a boyfriend in my life and I think that’s because of my very low self esteem and because I’m shy and awkward. The only interaction I get from guys is online and I become VERY clingy to them because I’m in constant need of attention. This one guy I met online who I’ve talked to for quite a while I get SEVERELY depressed when he doesn’t text me one day and I see that he’s online. I get so depressed that I don’t want to talk to anyone like my family and I literally lay in bed all day until I get a text from him then I’m instantly happy again. I also cry in my room for hours and sometimes hit myself because I hate myself and want to die. I get suicidal when he doesn’t talk to me because I feel that nobody likes me and I’ll never have a boyfriend. I even list my phone online when he doesn’t talk to me because I think what’s the point of having a phone when nobody likes or talks to me.. I’ve been suicidal for years and when he doesn’t talk to me or when someone else I really like doesn’t talk to me I get extra suicidal until he talks to me again then I feel better and don’t want to. Am I psycho??

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